Trusting in God, knowing He is faithful, and remembering He always has a plan for you is very hard sometimes. Being a follower of Christ is not always easy, especially when you go through tough situations. Being able to take a step back and let God take full control over ever aspect of your life is sometimes hard, but He has got you and He will be with you every step of the way. God has put me through some rocky paths, but He always has a plan for me and everything I go through is for an exact reason.
Hello this is me: I was born on September 12, 2003. I am 16 years old, and a sophomore in high school. I am from the small town of Duncan, Oklahoma and my hobbies include: taking pictures, dancing, spending time with friends and family, traveling, and spending time at church. I am involved in Heartbeat Dance House competitive dance, Duncan pom, STUCO, leadership, FCA, and New Hope Student Ministry. I am blessed with two amazing parents, and I am the youngest with one brother and one sister. My family is very close and means so much to me. I would not be where I am today without the love and support of my friends and family. Here is my story and my walk with Christ.
To start with I grew up in a church family, and always had the privilege to go to church with my Nana and Papa. I would always have so much fun at church and would always hear the story of our great God, but never really comprehended what it actually meant. I absolutely loved attending Sunday school, and getting to do activities learning about Jesus.
When I was really really little my dad went through a lot of struggles. He would be in the hospital for months, and even though I didn’t understand at the time, it hurts to think about all he went through. When I was in the second grade, my mom started getting really sick. She wasn’t able to do all the things she used to and she was in a lot of pain. She went through many procedures and surgeries and seeing her in that much pain made me feel so helpless. I would miss school a lot, and it would be hard sometimes to realize why it was all happening to my family. Nahum 1:7 says “the Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and he knows those who trust in him.” I wish I would’ve reflected my life on this verse when my family was going through these hard times. It shows that no matter what you go through our Lord is always with us and He always has a plan for us. He is with you through the good and the bad.
In June 2015 I was invited by a close family friend to attend a youth group service at their church. I attended with them for a couple weeks on Wednesday night, and absolutely fell in love with it. They invited me to go on a two day trip with them to six flags and I decided to go! To be completely honest I was terrified to go, because I didn’t know a lot of the people that were going… but it was such a great experience and I got to connect with the youth group and I felt really involved. I continued to attend church there and always enjoyed going. I still currently go to that same church, and have such a strong relationship with my youth group, and I absolutely love being so connected and involved with my church family!
The summer of 6th grade, in 2016 I attended falls creek. Falls creek is a huge baptist church convention that lasts 5 days. I was so excited to attend and get the opportunity to go! The second night we were there the speaker talked about his own personal story, and walk with Christ. He talked a lot about facing trials, and having so much fear of what was to come. He also talked about getting saved, and committing your life to Christ. After he was done preaching, the band came out and sang one last song. While we were singing I started shaking, and crying. I got a weird feeling, and felt like God was sitting right next to me talking to me. They gave an invitation, if anyone felt God was calling them to make a decision to walk down the aisles and come to the front. I was super anxious and nervous, but God was calling me, and gave me the strength and courage to walk in front of thousands of people and make a decision. July 12, 2016 I gave my whole life over to God and committed to walk with Him. It was a very emotional, exciting night! I remember sitting in my bunk that night at camp and and finding a verse I will love forever. Matthew 22:37-38 says “Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.” That is a very well-known verse, but reading that verse that night meant so much to me and I will cherish that verse forever now!
The rest of that summer went by so fast, and my relationship with Christ was so strong and I felt I was in such a good spot in my life. October 2, 2016 I was baptized into an amazing church family. Getting baptized was my first step of obedience in my walk with Christ, and I was filled with so much comfort and joy.
My 7th grade year comes, and all is going well until the second semester. My mom started getting really sick again, and ended up having to have another surgery to have a very big cyst removed. It was incredibly sad to watch my mom go through so much pain, and feeling so helpless. There were nights where I would sit in my room, and just cry because I hated that my mom was going through this. I was putting all the blame on God, and just couldn’t believe this was happening. I felt like I was in a deep dark hole. I started to give up my faith, and didn’t understand why God what putting my mom through pain again. I blamed Him for putting my mom through her pain, and ended up kinda falling away from God. This was a super rough time for me, because not only was I watching my mom go through pain, I started to fall away from God, and started to blame Him for putting my mom through her pain and suffering.
I went to falls creek again that summer, and to be completely honest, I wasn’t in the best place in my relationship with Christ, but I was still super excited to go. One night the speaker was preaching about dealing with struggles, and dealing with so much pain and heartache in life, and how to trust God through it all. I started crying and instantly felt God speaking to me. So that night I recommitted my life to Christ, and had so much peace come over me knowing that even though I was blaming and doubting God, He still wanted a relationship with me and loved me unconditionally. I know it seems so wild to think that only a year had passed since I had been saved, and I was already getting recommitted. I had many people ask me what made me recommit. To be completely honest, that night at church camp, was the first time I had connected and felt God in me since my moms situation. That night I felt God calling me back to Him, and telling me that even though I blamed and doubted Him, He put my mom through that for a reason, and He still loved me so much, and wanted a relationship with me.
I was going so strong, and felt like I was at such a high point in my life. I felt like God was calling me to do more than be a child of Him, and on August 5, 2017 I published my website, and posted my first blog. That was the start of this amazing journey, and I could not be more thankful for God calling me to start this.
The rest of 2017 went by super fast. My family was doing great, and I found out I would be an auntie to a sweet baby girl that year. 2018 I started my first year in high school. I was super nervous, but also super excited!! I grew a lot my freshman year, and connected with lots of incredible friends! Overall freshman year went by so fast. Freshman year I struggled a lot with finding true role models, and good influences. I kept struggling with friendships and I felt like God was calling me to reach out to new people. I made so many new great friends that year, and it truly impacted my life in such a positive way.
The second semester of freshman year was rough. In January of 2019 I started having super bad and painful lower back pain, and couldn’t dance or do anything without pain. I went all through dance season, and still danced my heart out, but it was super hard to be in that much pain and not being able to do my absolute best. I had lots of testing and exams done to try and figure out why I was in so much pain, but they never could find anything that was the definite answer. In April, I had an SI joint injection done, which was supposed to help with my pain, but actually ended up making it a lot worse. I missed pretty much the last 4 weeks of school because of all of this going on, which was really hard for me. I was in the ER for a night here and there, and then went to OU children’s ER one night, because the pain was so bad.
Beginning of May I started seeing a specialist in Decatur, Texas for my back pain. He ran lots of tests, and diagnosed me with hyper mobility syndrome about a month later. My test results came back and a lot of my blood work was super abnormal for my age. My specialist ended up sending me to another doctor that same day right down the street from his office. I started seeing an endocrinologist, and he ran lots of tests as well. About a month later he started me on some medication, and diagnosed me with non-classic adrenal insufficiency. My primary doctor found out I had severe protein in my urine, so he referred me to a nephrologist at OU children’s hospital as well.
At this point, I was seeing lots of doctors and specialists, and was very confused about everything going on. The summer going into sophomore year, I didn’t do much, because of all this going on. But, I did attend super summer again that year, and it was the best experience. I made so many incredible friendships, and learned so much at camp.
July 2019 I went to falls creek church camp for the 4th time. I was in a pretty good place in my walk with Christ, but at the same time felt a little shaken up. The last night we were there the message was absolutely incredible. At the end of the service the preacher asked everyone to stand up and look down and close their eyes. He started naming our situations such as “If you or a loved one have struggled or battled cancer look up.” He named off about 10 different situations, and by the end everyone’s heads were raised. He then went onto say that this shows that no one is alone. Everyone goes through trials and tough times in their life, but it’s God’s plan, and He is putting us through it for a reason.
He then followed with prayer, and I was holding two of my best friends hands. I starting sobbing, and felt God talking to me. I felt God was calling me to be more than a follower of Him, and share my faith through my blog. On July 12, 2019 I surrendered to my call to the ministry. I was overwhelmed with emotion, happiness, and joy. I still have no idea where this is going to lead me, but I know God does, so I am willing to follow His call wherever He guides me. This night was a night I will remember forever.
I started my sophomore year in high school in August, and by the end of August I got super sick. I started throwing up blood on Monday, and was in a lot of pain. I had no idea what was going on, and I was super scared. My parents took me to the ER that night. They hooked me up to an IV, NG tube, and ran lots of tests. They kept me for a few hours, but never could find anything so they sent me home with some medicine.
The following Wednesday I was still throwing up nonstop, not eating, and in lots of pain. That night we ended up going back to the ER. They did more tests, and admitted me to the hospital. I spend three days in the hospital, and was super scared and nervous. The second day I was there I had a very bad allergic reaction to my medicine, and started having tardive dyskinesia. I was super shaky, and couldn’t control my body. This reaction happened about 4 times, and each time it got longer and scarier. The night before I went home the reaction lasted longer than an hour and I started hyperventilating and couldn’t breath. It was one of the scariest times in my life.
I got to come home, but they never could find a definite answer. I missed about 2 weeks of school during this, which was super hard for me because I love school. I got to go back to school, and was super happy because I was finally back! I was doing okay, just facing a very hard situation.
While I was in the hospital they found out I had PVCs, which essentially is abnormal heartbeats. They referred me to a cardiologist at OU childerens. I went and saw that doctor a couple weeks later, and she put me on a 48 hour heart monitor, and ended up sending me to an electrophysiologist, because my PVCs were so abnormal.
That weekend I went to Texas for a dance convention with my best friends family. The first night we were there I started having super bad chest pain, short of breath, and felt super weird. I immediately called my mom, and I was super scared. I touched it out that night, and the next morning I did 2 classes at the convention. I called my mom and sister crying, not knowing what was happening to my body and was what going on. I felt so off, and was in so much pain. I sat out the rest of the day, and that night my sister and her husband ended up driving all the way to Texas to come get me.
That night they took me to the ER in Texas, and they did a chest x-ray, and lots of tests. They diagnosed me with chest wall inflammation. I had to sit out of dance for a couple of weeks until I went back to the doctor.
During this difficult situation, I started to doubt God a little bit.. but I started reading a devotional called “Hope in the dark.” and it really encouraged me to stay strong. I remained strong in my relationship with Christ, and tried my hardest to trust that this was God’s plan, and He was putting me through this for an exact purpose.
I started dancing again, and then on October 22, I got super sick again and started throwing up blood. My mom called my doctor the next day to get some medicine, and we waited almost a week to see if it would get better just taking medicine. On October 27, my mom took me to the ER. They admitted me to the hospital again.
At this point I was SO very scared, and felt like God was failing me. It was so hard to be this sick, and not know the cause. The second day in the hospital was super rough, and I was in a lot of pain. They did lots of tests, MRIS, etc. and they told me I would need to get a scope procedure done of my stomach to see if there was anything wrong.
I have never been so worried in my life. I felt like I was falling apart, and I felt so alone. I had no idea why God was putting me through such a hard situation. We get the scope results back, and the doctor tells us I need to have my gall bladder removed, and my liver biopsied. We waiting for OU children’s to call for 3 days, and they never would call or finalize anything.
We were stuck, and we had to make some difficult decisions. We decided to call another doctor, and he said he would do the surgery. On Sunday November 3, I finally got to go home!!! The following day we had an appointment with my surgeon to plan everything out. On Tuesday November 5 it was surgery day. I had never had a big surgery done, so I was very terrified. Surgery went great. They removed my gall bladder, and did lots of tests during surgery.
The recovering process was super hard and was a struggle, but I got through it. I ended up missing 3 1/2 weeks of school and dance.
This whole situation was the scariest/ worst time of my life. Through it all I remained true to God, and tried to stay so strong and let God work everything out for His plan. I want this to be an encouragement to everyone, that no matter what you are going through God has a plan. You may be facing medical issues, family issues, etc. but no matter what you are facing don’t fear, for God is with you. He will work everything out for the good, and He is putting you through your situation for an exact purpose.
The week I went back to school, I was still in some pain, but was doing pretty good. My soul felt so much better slowly easing back into things. God was working through my pain, and I grew SO much in my relationship with Him. After surgery I felt like it was a push from God to keep going.
I started working super hard on my blog, and started really striving to be like Christ in every aspect of my life. I am so thankful to say, I am doing so much better now, and in such a good point in my life. My relationship with Christ is super strong, and I have been working super hard to stay in Gods word daily; and strive to be more like Christ.
Something that God has revealed to me recently is that His timing is ALWAYS perfect. Waiting for God to work through you, and stay strong is very hard, but our Father has the perfect plan for us. Looking back on everything I have went through in my life, I know it was God’s plan, even if it was hard to understand in the moment.
I have found so much peace and comfort through Christ this past year, and I cannot wait to see where the Lord will guide me.
Over these years, I have went through so much. But, I have also learned and grown SO much. This past year especially, I have gotten to experience so much, and I truly believe this was God’s way of setting me on the direct path, and guiding me to fully trust Him in every aspect of my life. My blog has been such a true outlet for me, and I couldn’t be more excited to see what the Lord has in store for me.
Although it has been a rough journey, I am so incredibly grateful to have gotten to experience everything I have. I pray this can be an encouragement and impact on your life that no matter what you are facing or what you are going through; God has you, and everyone goes through tough trials. You are not alone.
I cannot thank you enough for the constant love and support. I truly couldn’t do this without you guys! Go share your story with someone. You can be such an impact on someone’s life.
Thank you so much for reading my testimony! Lots of love, Carsyn!!
Saved by Grace 